Here’s the thing about adulting that I like the least.
Being the one to have to make ALL the decisions.
What’s for dinner?
Do we need toilet paper?
When do we put fuel in the truck?
Where do we meet that person to do that thing?
When do the kids go to bed?
When do we pay that bill?
How do you do the thing?
Where does this thing go?
How do I take these kids to this place?
How many apples do I buy?
When does the trash need to go out?
When can I buy the thing we need?
I don’t need that thing I want.
We don’t need this $300 cable bill.
We need a new car.
We need an oil change.
We need to do this thing at this time.
It’s exhausting. All day long all I do is make decisions. Sometimes, I just want to not have to make ALL the decisions.
But as a mom, this is not plausible. The weight of every decision I make as a mom hinges on other people making the decisions I need them to, so my plan will work. And when those people leave even their decisions up in the air or up to me, it adds to the “mom load”.
Let me tell you. The mom load is heavy. Why do we need a back rub every damn night? Because our load is heavy. We carry the man and all the children’s loads for them most of the time, and sometimes the friends and her parents, his parents, the other parents, the siblings... you get the gist. The “mom” of the family, whether it’s the actual mom or the “mom friend” or the more responsible sibling/cousin/aunt/etc has a lot going on! ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME.
So next time she says she doesn’t want to cook, or doesn’t care what activity you want her to pick, or makes you pick what movie to watch... remember she’s made all the rest of the decisions today, you’ve got this. You CAN figure out what to eat on your own and when to take the trash out. So just do it. Make the decision for your self.
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